Windows 7: The Best iPad Seller!

So today I had to help someone set up some things on a new Windows 7 notebook.

This is a notebook mainly used for casual offline game-playing.

Until today.

When it had to get on the Internet.

And really, the Internet tasks it will do are ordinary things: email and some online game-playing.

Here is some of what I had to go through with this Windows 7 notebook:

1) Be told there is a Java update

2) Update Java

3) Be told there is a Flash update

4) Update Flash

5) Kill the demo Norton AntiVirus because it keeps spamming and will never be tried or purchased

6) Install free Avast! AntiVirus

7) Install CD-ROM game

8) Have Windows Defender(!) say the CD is infected!

9) Have Windows Defender fail in removing virus

10) Quick Scan notebook with Avast! for twenty minutes(!)

11) Have Avast! report the notebook is clean(?!)

12) Try to find out where the hell that CD-ROM installed to

13) Discover Windows 7 now creates two Program File folders (one x86!)

14) Try to drag icon to Desktop to create an Alias

15) Discover this moves the damn program

16) Cut copy from Desktop and Paste back into folder

17) Right-click for Create Shortcut

18) Be told it won’t put shortcut in folder (where I didn’t want it anyway!), would I like it on Desktop? Yes.

19) Launch the damn game

20) Person plays game plays until it crashes

21) Get fed up, install Windows Updates to Get It Over With as prelude to trying to update the damn game itself

21b) Because you damn well know if I try to just update the game, it will say there are Windows Updates needed!

22) Thirty minutes and 49 updates later, Reboot notebook

23) After five minutes of grinding, achieve Desktop

24) Be told there are two more Updates!

25) Install them

26) Oddly, notebook doesn’t need Restart after this

27) Search for game updates

28) Discover company no longer exists!

29) Let person play old game and hope it doesn’t crash again

What huge step would have been needed to do email and play games on an iPad?

Press the On button and enjoy!

And Steve Ballmer has trouble understanding why people are buying the iPad? Srsly, Ballmer?

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59 Comments

Filed under Friction, iOS, Minimalism, Other Hardware, Stupid

59 responses to “Windows 7: The Best iPad Seller!

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Windows 7: The Best iPad Seller! « Mike Cane's xBlog -- Topsy.com

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  3. userious

    This has nothing to do with Windows and everything to do with 3rd party software and crappy manufacturers that ship notebooks with bloatware. This is not why the iPad sells.

  4. bob

    Ah yes, when you’re in a walled garden, typically there’s a gardner who will do all the hardwork for you. No, don’t worry, he insists.

    Heck, I heard Jobs thinks this is SUCH a good idea, he’s doing it for the Mac too. Forget about downloading programs, go to the app store.

    Want to give up your freedom to do as you please with your computer? There’s an app for that! (And for the really stubborn ones in the audience, we changed the screws, so nyah-nyah!)

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  6. David

    Lol, like iPads are well known for their ability to play old games. This is a kind of misleading post, almost all those things only need to be done once (on a fresh install). A more appropriate title would have been “I like Ipads – You should too”.

    • mikecane

      The thing about the old game is this: It’s a bloody slot machine game. Bought on CD-ROM in a brick & mortar store for a few bucks not long ago and it turns out to be dated 2000! Eleven years old! And no more publisher. But since this is a standard game of slots, the person could have downloaded a different one off iTunes and not worried about whether or not Java or Flash or any damned OS updates were required just to immediately play it.

      • Windows 7

        Java isn’t needed to play a game of slots. Why is it even on the machine? Take it off and there is one less worry. You make it sound as if the machine will explode and cease to work with it on.

      • Hello

        Do you even know what the hell Java and Flash is? You don’t need either of these to play the game.

      • PeterF

        And YOU could have just as easily went online and found a newer, free game of slots that works fine on modern Windows operating systems.
        You are also comparing the out of the box experience of a Windows notebook to the already set up experience of an iPad. The iPad needs to be hooked up to an already working computer to be activated when it is taken out of the box, does it not?

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  9. Dave

    Apple has internalized the one concept that is crucial to success as a consumer products company: user experience. They invest enormous amounts of money into the design of the complete user experience package. It has taken some time to get there but their approach works and they’ve got the chinks to prove it.

    The Windows experience is one of hopeless confusion and needless complexity. I tried setting up a simple wireless network the other day and I’m ashamed to have to admit I couldn’t get there. I get meaningless error messages, there is no way to troubleshoot effectively, the interface is horribly complex. On top of that, the people who use the system don’t understand the first thing about Windows, they have no idea what they are using or why. It makes the whole experience a gaping maw of despair.

    Compare and contrast to ‘On’ and then: “Here are some applications for you, what would you like to do?”

    The iPad was lamented for having no chance because everybody else had failed at it previously. They say that of a company that in the last decade it had not entered a market it did not aim to be a dominant player in.

    I have done those 29 steps myself. It is the quintessential 21st century story of technological misery.

    • Windows 7

      “The Windows experience is one of hopeless confusion and needless complexity. I tried setting up a simple wireless network the other day and I’m ashamed to have to admit I couldn’t get there. I get meaningless error messages, there is no way to troubleshoot effectively, the interface is horribly complex. On top of that, the people who use the system don’t understand the first thing about Windows, they have no idea what they are using or why. It makes the whole experience a gaping maw of despair.”

      What? Plug in the router/modem and Windows should automatically detect the network. Click the little icon in the corner and connect.

      You’re making an easy step harder than it should be.

      • abadidea

        Alas, it often isn’t that simple. My Windows computer stopped connecting to wireless for no apparent reason and I STILL haven’t managed to make it connect again. The same machine has no problem under Linux so it isn’t a hardware or signal problem.

        And before you ask, I have a degree in CS and I have been using Windows since I was 6 years old, I know what the heck I’m doing!

      • PeterF

        Then you need to find a different line of work. Setting up a network is ridiculously.
        Also, please use the latest version of Windows when comparing to the latest version of something else.

    • Hello

      Either you’re blabbering bullshit or you’re a complete idiot.

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  11. Luumu

    iPad doesn’t allow you to do much outside what Apple has granted to you. It’s not even a tablet as much as it is a interactive picture frame. iPad lacks all the features necessary for it to be a tablet. Like the handwriting recognition. But that’s not the point here…

    I write because this story sounded like a bad case of OSX user trying to do something in Windows without knowing exactly what to do. It’s not a crime but please understand that Windows does things very differently. It’s just as easy to use as OSX but somethings are very different.

    First thing in all Windows environments is to run updates to the system. No matter what you’re doing it’s always the first step. It’s first step in OSX too. So I wonder why you didn’t do it as a first step. Some updates require you to restart system. Some don’t. It’s just like in OSX.

    Was it too hard to have Norton removed from the computer? Why it had to be “killed”? Just get the Norton’s tools for uninstalling the virus called Norton Anti-virus. It makes the computer run faster. ;)

    I don’t like it either that companies install lots of unneeded trial software to their machines which they sell to people. Acer is especially bad in that sense.

    Please understand that Windows Defender is not anti-virus software. It’s anti-spyware software like Ad-aware. And it’s prone to misrecognitions but does’t usually give warnings for nothing. Was the game real licensed copy or illegal non-licensed pirate copy?

    Avast! is bad no matter how you look at it. Try Avira instead. Or buy actual license from F-Secure.

    Why you didn’t check where the installer installed the game while in installer? It’s interesting to notice that the laptop was running Windows Seven 64-bit edition (which imho isn’t 100% compatible with older software unlike the 32-bit edition). Since you knew perfectly well that you’re running 64-bit Windows, why to write about this step at all?

    If the installer didn’t create icons for menus or desktop… Why you didn’t just right click, “send” and “send shortcut to desktop”? Besides you were working inside protected folder without user rights to do so. Normal user is not supposed to be working inside “Program Files” or any of it’s subfolders. “Create shortcut” failed because of that.

    ööh, Windows Updates aren’t required for the games. Or maybe in some really rare occasions but generally they aren’t. Especially if the game is so old that company which made it doesn’t exists anymore. But I guess it’s needless to say that this is where the whole blog post should have started from. Installing updates to Windows.

    Even if the game company doesn’t exists anymore. There are tons of mirrors in this world where you can try to use Google to search name of that update and eventually filename and then mirror which might have the update to that game. Usually it doesn’t take that much time. It takes from me maybe 10 minutes to find any update to any old game if there ever even was a update for that game. Of course it’s also dependent of the popularity of that game.

    I just have to ask this. Why are you comparing iPad to Windows 7? You should have compared process of making OS9 game run on a OSX. Since you’re comparing old Windows game running on Windows 7. I understand your point that iPad is easier to use for similar tasks and probably enough for most users. But please understand that with Windows 7 you can do so much more. Even with OSX you can do one hundred times more than what you can do with a iPad. And Windows 7 in tablets is much more capable than iPad is now or ever will be. It’s a matter of taste and features you would need in your everyday life. Some like gaming devices like Playstation 3 and some prefer the quality and features Windows based gaming offers. Not to mention that Games for Windows are much cheaper than games for example Xbox 360.

    I understand that this blog post is about challenges which some Windows users meet everyday in their life.

    Besides isn’t it amazing how backwards compatible Windows is? If the game was made 10-20 years ago for older 16-bit Windows or for MS-DOS, it will still run on a modern day Windows 64-bit installation. None of the OS9 applications run on a modern day OSX installation.

    Think about it… differently. ;)

    • Mark

      Windows backward compatibility is pretty amazing when you think about it, but just to correct one little detail you cannot run 16-bit programs in Windows x64, Microsoft removed support for them. They still work fine in Windows 7 32-bit though, or you can use a program like DOSBox (which is really the best way to go for old DOS games).

    • Windows 7

      Agreed. I wish I knew why they ignore handwriting. Android too. It is such a basic and killer feature that goes ignored. The finger isn’t everything.

      Again, great reply. You get it, OP doesn’t.

  12. hapa

    …so true …

  13. amoote

    Can you install that old game on iPad? :p

  14. Hostpik

    Dude you’re comparing a full OS with a mobile OS?

    When you use a Mac the first time, the exact same thing happens. I can read you are a Mac user, because you didn’t understand a thing about Windows. Windows users don’t understand Mac.

    And just drop every type of antivirus. Those things only make your computer slow.

  15. Some Bloke

    This article screams of FUD. What did you think would happen when you connected for the first time anyway?

    Let me give you a few pointers. Get Java off of there. That’ll bring the PC to its knees faster than anything out there. Probably the cause of the BSOD.

    Second, I hate to say it, but maybe the game crashed because it isn’t supported on Windows 7, making it DOA. By the sound of “CD-ROM”, I get the impression the game was made in 1995.

    Third, if you didn’t know by now that x64 versions of Windows have two program folders, you’re out of the loop. Go back to your iPad and quit bitching.

    “What huge step would have been needed to do email and play games on an iPad?”

    Install iTunes
    Update iOS
    Try updating again when iTunes crashes…

    Yeah the iPad ain’t so glorious either….

  16. Windows 7

    You sound like one of those people who are annoyed to use Windows regardless, and will make the simplest task the most frustrating thing in the world to do.

    Exactly what did you think would happen when you connected it to the net?

    I agree with the poster above, you should uninstall Java as that does nothing much except crash the PC, then install CCleaner to kill any of the junk that is running at startup. Finish by then uninstalling Avast! and install MSE, and you will have one smooth running machine that will be quick to startup and shut down, just like your precious iPad.
    Quite honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t add 10 other malware programs to the machine thinking this is still Windows XP. I will give you credit for that one. I still find idiots running every single malware remover out there, and they wonder why their computer runs like garbage.
    Also make sure the user is on a limited account, and not an administrative one. This’ll help better protect the PC. If any administrative work needs gone, log off the standard user account and log into the administrative one.

    Windows 7 isn’t Windows 95. Judging by the fact that you had to “Try to find out where the hell that CD-ROM installed to”, you haven’t used Windows in years. CD-ROMS? Really? I’m surprised the game even installed.
    I find it curious, that you claim to work for a tech company, but find it the hardest thing in the world to do is set up Windows. This article is quite tiresome and could have been prevented had you kept up with the times.

    • mikecane

      >>>>I agree with the poster above

      Um, maybe because you’re both the same person? All Comments were invisible to everyone while held in moderation. So for you to have seen that Comment, YOU would have written it. Nice try. FAIL.

      • Windows 7

        Two different people posting from the same machine.

        Truth be told, if the guy only wants to play games, the iPad is the thing to have. But you can’t compare a full featured desktop OS to a worthless tablet OS.

  17. stainedfuture

    iDiot.

  18. gaz

    “…Steve Ballmer has trouble understanding why people are buying the iPad?”

    Where as Steve Jobs happily caters for halfwits who cant work out howto use windows 7

    • This is surely one of the most bizarre defenses of Windows I’ve ever seen. (We halfwits are already online and rocking out while you geniuses are still downloading updates.)

      • Windows 7

        Compared with the 100+ MB update packages MacOS get periodically?

        This is what service packs are made for. To install updates in one shot and be done with them.

        But if you install Windows, then let it go for months on end without installing updates, then yes, it will take some time. Same with MacOS.

  19. Mike, you obviously know what you’re doing when it comes to Windows. I don’t know how you do it, but you do. I’ve used nothing but Macs for 27 years and used to write (for actual $$) for a relatively big-time Mac site. This tale of what you had to go through is typical of things I used to write about (not from direct experience, obviously). Windows horror stories made me job easy. :-)

    I’ve heard that Windows 7 is decent, though. Very interesting post.

  20. Kenneth

    Is there actually a good reason you’ve decided to install three different antivirus programs, not to mention Java et all, prior to attempting to install an old game on a new OS?

    I’ll give you a pass here, assuming you’re a new Apple customer, but just be aware that this vendor is not known for supporting legacy apps on any of their platforms.
    Have you considered the possibility that the problem here might be _you_..?

    • mikecane

      How would anyone know if Java and Flash *weren’t needed* for the game? Do you know how many times people are download something and are surprised to be told they need the goddammed .Net framework for it to work?

      • Hello

        Normal programs don’t run in flash or java and even if it did. It would tell you this during setup.

      • Windows 7

        I guess looking at the “System Requirements” tag on the box is too much work for you.

        “Do you know how many times people are download something and are surprised to be told they need the goddammed .Net framework for it to work?”

        No, considering the .NET framework comes with the OS, AND is upgraded periodically via Windows Updates…. You know, those things you seem to have turned off, then complained about when they tried to run after connecting to the net again.
        So, in theory, if people keep WU turned on, then they should never see that error message.

      • mikecane

        The .NET framework slowed my desktop to all crap so I got rid of it. And now avoid anything that says it requires it up front (not everything does!).

  21. Ted

    This is the most moronic thing I’ve ever read. You fit the typical blind iPad fanboy mold, that’s for sure.

  22. Name?

    OP, you are holding it wrong.

  23. John Doe

    This article is absolutely retarded. All of the third party applications you are talking about have nothing to do with Windows 7. They do not come with Windows 7. Oh my gawd, what is this (x86) folder about? Well that is for 32-bit programs while the regular Program Files is for 64-bit programs. Is it that hard to keep track of? You must have the attention span of an infant (though I am certain my nieces and nephews can at least pay attention to me for more than 30 seconds of a time, so there we have it).

    What game do you have installed on a CD-ROM? Is this game from 1995? “Where the CD-ROM is installed to?” – What in the blue hell are you talking about? And are you seriously complaining about doing Windows Updates? Well, take some initiative then. There are various ways to make backups of updates that can be installed on a fresh Windows installation in a matter of two minutes or less. Again, take your Ritalin and relax.

    If you had a clue what you were doing, you would not need to do a virus scan. Get a proper AV with real-time file scanning. Silly kiddo.

    I can easily picture what you look like. It is one of two options: 1) Obese or getting close, misshaped head, large stomach rolls, a double chin, no social life whatsoever (your brother and mom do not count as friends, bro). Or 2) Extremely skinny and scrawny with little to no muscle, very frail and pathetic looking. So much that I feel as if a swift kick to your gut could break all your weak ribs.

    Am I correct? :-D

    P.S. – If you do have a girlfriend, she must be ugly as sin or have AIDS.

    • abadidea

      “Oh my gawd, what is this (x86) folder about? Well that is for 32-bit programs while the regular Program Files is for 64-bit programs. Is it that hard to keep track of? ”

      YES. This distinction should be TOTALLY transparent. It accomplishes nothing but sowing confusion.

      • Windows 7

        Not really. When do normal people even browse that far into the file system?

        Anyone, though, with technical experience should be able to identify which folder is used for what. I couldn’t help but laugh that the OP’s confusion. IF you seriously work for a tech company like F-Secure, you should know by now there are two folders. That’s inexcusable and shows ignorance. I think I will be recommending people away from F-Secure.

    • Doe Sucks

      You are working for Microsoft right? What the hell is sentence “They do not come with Windows 7″ of course, but operating system is thing what helps to get 3rd party software running and thats a main task. On Mac OS X is everything running perfect. When I had a PC with windows 7 it was only troubles, troubles, troubles… Now I have brilliant OS – Mac OS X and I dont have any problem – it never freeze, balancing CPU usage is quite brilliant, I have hundred running programs and everything is fast (with same CPU as on PC).

      Article is not retarded. You’re retarded!

  24. Windows 7

    Quite frankly, I wonder what this post had looked like had the game NOT installed. Most likely how we should all ditch Windows and run iOS on ALL computers and devices. Turning everyone into morons who can’t think for themselves.

    Hey, if Steve Jobs says I hate Flash, then who am I to argue?

  25. Guys, you say that the programs the author listed has nothing to do with windows. That’s not true! They are the part of its ecosystem and thus shape user experience greatly. I’ve had the pain of using Microsoft’s crappy APIs, inconsistent UI controls which are without the slightest guideline… Apple just shines in this kind of stuff, starting from the APIs, examples right to delivering a great user experience. I’ve written a few words about this here: What does the popularity of iPhone and iPad tell us?

  26. Victor Panlilio

    People, get a grip. Windows 7 is what Vista should’ve been on release. Vista led to a lot of frustration among folks who discovered 3rd party vendors had not updated their drivers for peripherals, and there was also a slew of software incompatibilities. The same type of problem existed during the transition from MacOS X 10.4 (Tiger) to 10.5 (Leopard), etc. Mike Cane’s real point is that iOS represents an environment in which the sysadmin cognitive load is lower than for other types of systems such as Win7, MacOS X, and Linux. The point is not that a mobile OS and a full-blown desktop OS are comparable in functionality, but for many basic tasks, a mobile OS will suffice for many people, and that’s why the iPad is selling well. If you flame him for pointing out the obvious, you may have a reading comprehension deficit. For a reality check, try reading http://www.pcworld.com/article/218161/windows_flaw_allows_ie_hack.html

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  28. Nick

    Wow. This post is an atrocious attempt at making Windows 7 look bad. Maybe if the author had the slightest clue about how to actually use Windows this wouldn’t be such a big deal. Or maybe the author should just abandon his 1995 “CD-ROM” games and move into the 21st century. This issue isn’t the fault of an excellent operating system, it’s the clueless person writing this post.

  29. Ignorant Apple fans

    So did you insert the CD into your iPad and play the game?

  30. Brandon

    This is a hyperbolic post with a sensationalist title. this is mostly the fault of 3rd party software, for example you should not expect an ancient game to work properly with every newest version of windows.

    And separately windows defender detecting a virus is called a false positive, it happens occasionally with every a/v and antispyware program, its an old game that probably tried to autorun when you put in the cd which triggered the windows defender heuristics.

    Its pretty common knowledge that windows 64 bit, since the release of vista, has two programs files directories, one for legacy 32 bit apps and one for native 64 bit apps, and stuff like dragging a file not making a shortcut is simply that windows works differently than osx, its not a worse way of doing it, its simply different. For future reference the way windows does this is: If you drag a file to location on the same partition, it will move it. If you drag it to any different partition of hard drive it will copy it. shortcuts are only made via the context menu.

  31. 1

    Is this serious? It must be a joke, I mean, really? How do you even manage to dress yourself in the morning you tard.

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