I Rewrite Apple’s Annoying Genius Ads

Well, I scragged the Siri ones and everyone seems to be piling on these atrocious Genius ads now too:

On Apple’s new ads — the best take
Why Apple’s new ads look like Microsoft made them
New Mac ads: landing with a serious thud
Apple Genius Ads Actually Pretty Stupid

Apple again misses the mark.

What’s the point of these ads?

Let me tell you what the point should be:

1) Why does Apple have Geniuses if Apple is so “simple”?
2) What can a Genius do for you?
3) Where can you find an Apple Genius?

The ads fail in all three respects.

Also, the entire reason to have a Genius on staff is to show that Apple has your back.

I got so pissed off, I wrote my own.

All I have is the narration, not the imagery. Hey, this is free writing. And these are just rough sketches.

If our technology is so simple, why does every Apple Store have Geniuses to help you?

Beneath our simplicity is machinery.

And all machines can go wrong.

But when they do, a Genius can make it right.

Quickly.

(Text, not spoken:)

Apple logo.

Simply Genius.

And:

All machines are complex inside.

Things can go wrong.

And when they do, you need help.

Other companies leave you stranded with a problem.

At every Apple Store, we have Geniuses who can help you.

Because technology is complex and things can go wrong.

(Text, not spoken:)

Apple logo.

Simply Genius.

I submit that those are more informative than the ads Apple is running. And not insulting to the audience.

Apple ads are supposed to evoke warm emotion. The Siri ads evoke annoyance and these latest Genius ads evoke basic disgust.

This is advertising gone insanely wrong.

Previously here:

Apple’s Awful Non-Apple TV Ads

About these ads

5 Comments

Filed under Apple: The Company

5 responses to “I Rewrite Apple’s Annoying Genius Ads

  1. The airplane one, for example: Nothing the guy was trying to do was hard. But he was panicking because he didn’t know it wasn’t hard. Through the whole ad he’s like “whoa, that’s it?” And then he ends the ad much more confident in his ability to do things on a mac. I think that answers 1) and 2).

    • mikecane

      No, I think that message is entirely lost in the hyperactivity of that ad, which is another reason why it fails. It also makes the customer look stupid.

  2. Shock Me

    I do like these ads better than the celebrity Siri ads but they are a bit too situation comedy. Software that does interesting things quite often takes more than minimal training. I do like the idea promoting the availability of genius, but they should be located in an Apple Store where they can actually be found and use funny situations that have actually happened where a genius saved the day. I suggest a similar style like the Target ads with a comic situation that ends with a solution by a Genius at the Apple Store.

  3. Sponge

    Over the years I’ve marveled at how companies make either their employees or their customers out to be idiots in their ads, and I’ve remarked that Apple was too smart to do something like that. While it’s probably too soon to say whether Steve’s death will have a major impact on Apple’s products, I can’t see him approving these ads.

    That said, I’m not sure your ads are what they’re looking for. No one is going to advertise a computer by mentioning, even in the way you suggest, that there will be technical problems because the machines are complex. These ads are pushing what you can do with your Mac (iLife, Keynote) and that you can get help from a Genius if you get stuck. I would alter your ad to read:

    Lots of computers let you work with your photos, edit home movies, and create presentations.

    But only one of them makes it simple: the Mac.

    Even so, once in a while we all get stuck, and need a little help.

    Other companies leave you stranded with a problem.

    At every Apple Store, we have Geniuses who can help you.

    Because we all need a little help sometimes.

    (Text, not spoken:)

    Apple logo.

    Simply Genius.

    • mikecane

      >>>even in the way you suggest, that there will be technical problems because the machines are complex

      Yes, someone else raised that objection on Twitter.

      And your ad is better. Good one.

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