My life is being wasted thirty seconds at a time on Spotify.
So many songs have these idiotic thirty-second intros that add nothing to the song. It’s gotten to the point where I wish Spotify would add a Skip First Thirty Seconds button!
Let’s get something straight:
1) You don’t need to leave slack for some dickhead FM deejay to talk over your record’s opening. No one is listening to radio anymore!
2) You are no longer filling space and time on a CD or vinyl record. No one is buying those any more!
3) Your goal is to attract attention — not bore people!
4) Most of you are just not that good. After the thirty seconds, most of the males have a similar vocal range and whiny-ness. I skip to the next song.
5) Get some music history in you. How many riffs have I heard that I first heard back in the 60s and 70s? Too many!
6) Learn how to do it. Most songs in the 1960s start the vocal nine seconds in. Those songs are fifty years old now and still being listened to! Yours won’t be.
7) We heard your fucking lyric the first time. We don’t need you to repeat it four more times.
Am I an expert on music?
No. I’m just a listener.
And you need me more than I need you.