Same-day update: Updated at end of post.
When the hell does this end?
In a Weibo communique issued last night — that I didn’t see until today because the proper Onda Weibo account I monitor “retweeted” it — brand-new instructions for the damn Windows upgrade to the damn V975i:
V975i升级Windows全教程 http://t.cn/RPPNFNT (出处: OndaOS) @昂达微博 @ONDA第X代軍团
V975i upgrade Windows full tutorial http://t.cn/RPPNFNT (Source: OndaOS) @ @ ONDA Onda microblogging first Generation X Corps
That link goes to an OndaOS forum post [Google Translate] with a tutorial for flashing the V975i to Windows. But wait! There’s more. The damn post is locked towards the end and requires registration! (This is the cue for someone else to register and copy the damn stuff to pastebin…)
Does it end there?
Oh hell no!
Today Onda issued a new Weibo communique just to drive me mad:
# # Onda upgrade Win8.1 system [upgrade] Onda Win8.1 latest BIOS release tablet, including Onda V819i quad-core # #, # Onda V975i quad-core # (V1 version of the need to modify the parameters), Onda V975w quad-core # #, # Onda V819w quad-core # can upgrade the firmware download → http://t.cn/RvkQjP8 refresh bios risk, we recommend that people who have some experience in the operation; downloaded zip bag has detailed installation instructions, please follow the instructions!
And that link goes to this page …
… and clicking on the filename goes to this page …
… where scrolling down displays this …
… and clicking on the left green button leads to here …
… and pressing the damn download button leads to this …
… and if you don’t know what to do after that, why the hell did you ever buy a V975i to begin with if you can’t handle flashing the damn firmware? Whatever made you think any of this would be easy?
This had better be the end of it. This has all turned into a damn Monty Python skit — one that isn’t at all funny.
Oh shut up. That was funny.
Same-day update: Onda decided to be chatty on their Weibo today. So there was one more Weibo communique waiting to pounce at my face — which of course happened after I thought this post was finished:
#昂达升级Win8.1系统#【升级必看】近期，#昂达V819i四核#与#昂达V975i四核#均开始升级Win8.1系统，对于用户的反馈，小达整理了Win8.1平板的常见问题供大家参考→http://t.cn/RPhOujO @英特尔中国 @英特尔芯品汇 @微软Windows
# # [Onda upgrade Win8.1 system upgrades must see] Recently, a quad-core # # Onda V819i V975i with quad-core # # Onda have begun to upgrade Win8.1 system for user feedback, a small plate of finishing Win8.1 Frequently Asked Questions for your reference → http://t.cn/RPhOujO @ Intel Intel core Collection of Chinese @ @ Microsoft Windows
Which in its non-Mini Me form is filled with shit that everyone who is going to be using an Onda Windows tablet needs to know — so bookmark that shit now.
Now shut up, Onda.
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