HP Pro Slate 8: Another Damn Tablet That Can’t Be Bought

The Verge: HP unveils a 12-inch Android tablet that looks like a giant HTC One

HP press release: HP Drives “Business-First” Approach to Mobility

Let’s just stop right there for a moment.

Because that is totally the strategy Apple used to make the iPad a huge success.

Oh. Wait.

No. It. Isn’t.

That’s right, kids, HP is back with its head still up its ass!

Am I being unjustly cruel or snarky?

Hell no.

Here’s the page listing the HP Pro Slate 8 (such a clever rebranding of the HP Slate 8 Pro!).

And on that page is this:


And what happens when you click on the Shop Now button?

At press time, it goes to a page where the tablet isn’t listed at all to buy! The tablets listed there are all Windows!

Again, you probably think I am being unjustly cruel or snarky.

How you wish!

What does the HP press release itself state?

Let’s do that screensnap thing:


I don’t know about the universe HP inhabits — I really wouldn’t like to visit it — but in my universe, the word “now” means immediately.

And being immediately, shouldn’t it be listed on its own damn website to buy?

So yeah, HP is back with its head still up its ass.


And the specs don’t impress, either. First, it’s Android 4.4, KitKat. Second, it’s a 32-bit quad-core Snapdragon 800 with a peak frequency of 2.3GHz. There’s finally a sensible 2GBs of RAM and internal storage is listed as being 16 or 32GBs — which I doubt, given HP’s past record of listing specs that never happen. The screen is 7.86″ at 2048 x 1536, so at least there isn’t the oddball resolution of the original Slate 8 Pro. The microSD card slot won’t go higher than a 32GB card. Front and back cameras of 2MP and 8MP, unknown quality. And there’s a microUSB port. I’m not even going to get into the damn stylus.

And of course the entire thing looks like an HTC One but not as sexy as the original ripoff by Ramos:


And that price. US$449.

It’s OK to laugh!

A US$50 premium over the more powerful 64-bit Nexus 9 with Android 5.x.

No sale.

Not that you’ll ever see this in any damn stores. Hardly anything HP puts out winds up in Best Buy or brick and mortar stores these days.

They’ll probably send out their corporate sales force to shill these. And be met by corporations already using the iPad with IBM partner software.

Typically HP. How Pathetic.

The only question is which part of HP will have custody of this and the other tablets announced today.

Anyone who wants to stare at more of this car wreck can get the HP Pro Slate 8 datasheet [direct PDF link].


Filed under iPad Mini Clones

5 responses to “HP Pro Slate 8: Another Damn Tablet That Can’t Be Bought

  1. Robert Jasiek

    Apart from what you say and my preference for Windows, the greatest problem of this tablet is the mirroring display. From a features POV, the price is alright if one wants those features (“security” under Android, optional docking station, stylus); without appreciating the features, the price is too high. Design copied or not – I like it and the tablet seems to have a good build quality. However, I absolutely agree with you on the missing Android 5, and it can affect PDF tests I suppose.

  2. Robert Jasiek

    True, but maybe being one generation behind allows double battery duration? Let us await the battery tests!

    • Given there were almost no reviews for the original Slate 8 Pro, I’m not holding my breath waiting for any reviews of this one. The 12-incher might get some because it’s an odd duck trying to pre-empt a rumored “iPad Pro,” but it’s also bound to have a larger battery — plus the screen is far lower resolution.

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