Aspartame-Free Diet Pepsi: Cat Piss Would Be Better

New Diet Pepsi Leaves Some Loyalists With Bad Taste [if paywalled, drop title in Google to bypass]

The company’s diet soda sales have kept sinking since the reformulated cola began surfacing on store shelves more than a month ago, and Diet Pepsi loyalists are using words like “yuck” and “unpalatable” to broadcast their distaste on Twitter and Facebook.

It’s immediately flat.

It has no refreshing bite.

It tastes worse when it gets less than ice-cold.

I thought it was the aspartame when mixed with chocolate that would send my brain into warp drive.

No. I’ve been drinking Diet Coke for the aspartame and it’s not the aspartame.

It’s whatever the hell it is in the Diet Pepsi itself when combined with aspartame and chocolate that invokes warp drive.

There’s only aspartame-free left in all of NYC. My hoard ran out weeks ago. My brain feels neutered.

Bring back the original formula, even if you rename it Diet Pepsi Death, for fuck’s sake!

1 Comment

Filed under Stupid

One response to “Aspartame-Free Diet Pepsi: Cat Piss Would Be Better

  1. someone with taste buds

    All diet beverages suck. The normal ones aren’t much better lol.

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